


Remember me

by bearmitage



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Alzheimer's Disease, Dementia, M/M, Married Life, Mental Health Issues, Real Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearmitage/pseuds/bearmitage
Summary: Newton Scamander, happily married with one little child and a perfect family, is a celebrated Harvard professor at the height of his career when he notices a forgetfulness creeping into his life. As confusion starts to cloud his thinking and his memory begins to fail him, he receives a devastating diagnosis: early onset Alzheimer's disease.





	1. April 2017

**Author's Note:**

> This story is hugely inspired by Still Alice, the mesmerising story written by Lisa Genova.

 

 

 

**April 2017**

 

 

 

 

 

Newt is sitting next to the window and sipping his breakfast tea, distracted by the thud sound Percival is making. The footstep is echoing across the hallway while Newt is tapping his pencil against his students' thesis papers. It's 7.25 according to the clock on their microwave monitor and Percival is running late for dropping their son and his morning lecture. He massages his temples slowly and keeps rereading the same sentence he has been reading for 2 minutes without any comprehension. Without any doubts, Percival is trying to leave but he forgets his stuff.

 

 

"Artemis?"

 

 

He places the pencil on the dining table next to the newspaper before walking to Percival. Leaning against the door frame, he sees Percival lifting the pillow on the sofa in their living room. Credence is waiting with the bag properly behind his back.

 

 

"Key?"

 

 

Percival nods before sighing when he hears Newt's sigh. "Please don't lecture me. I'm running late and this little boy is becoming grumpy." He glances at Credence who now is sitting on the couch with his hands crossing to his chest. "Could you help your Mummy find my key so we can leave?"

 

 

Credence sighs before leaving the couch and walking towards Newt who tells him to wait at the door. Newt takes his glasses off and heads to the hallway. "Percy," He shouts. "Is your coat in the wardrobe?"

 

 

"Yes, it is."

 

 

He opens the wardrobe for hanging coats next to the front door and slides his hand into the pocket of Percival's wool coat. Underneath the papers and stuff, it's there.

 

 

He can't believe how someone who is so intelligent can be very ignorant in the most hilarious way. "Found it."

 

 

The sound of Percival running across the room stops, followed by the sound of his husband walking swiftly to the hallway. Credence remains silent, his tiny hands are in his pockets.

 

 

"You are the best," The big hand reaches to the key, Newt snorts. "Now, do you see my glasses?"

 

 

Credence sighs against, Newt has already lost count how many times his son has sighed this morning. He laughs fondly at the little boy. "You're wearing your glasses, Papa."

 

 

Percival laughs embarrassingly before nodding. Newt shakes his head and lifts his wrist. "You still have tons of time. It's only 7.05, you know you can't trust the clock in our kitchen."

 

 

"You know the New York's traffic, Artemis," Percival says before pressing a quick kiss on the freckled cheek of Newt, followed by Credence. The boy tiptoes and places his lips against Newt's skin before walking towards Percival and holding the man's hand.

 

 

"Bye, Mummy."

 

 

"See you, sweet pea." Newt waves at two significant people in his life who are getting inside the car. Percival lowers the mirror before popping his head out. "I am probably not going to arrive home before the dinner."

 

 

"We haven't seen each other for awhile, you know."

 

 

"I know, I'll try."

 

 

The car drives off.

 

 

 

 

 

Newt and Percival used to walk together when Credence was younger. The boy would his toy in his chubby hand while Niffy, their dog, was walking next to him. They loved to talk about students, professions, academic researches or news around their campus. Newt always insisted that Credence wouldn't be allowed to eat an ice-cream unless he would return his toys to their places after playing. They would stop by at the café named Jerri and Percival would order the Irish coffee for him and honey and lemon tea for Newt while Credence was having a small plate of pancake and they would talk about their son, telly series or what they would have for the dinner. Their knees would be bumping under the table and Niffy would sniff around Credence who would be busy painting his masterpiece with crayons.

 

 

But lately, they have been walking separately. Percival would be staying in his office and Newt would be reading at home or in his lecture, many times, it's vice versa. They rarely have times. Percival is the one who drops Credence at school while he's the one picking up their son. Credence is always the last one to be picked up, the boy barely notices since he's always busy reading those colourful books about animals that he likes so much.

 

 

Newt returns to papers on the table once again, still distracted. He taps the top of his pencil repeatedly and thinks about himself: lately, he can barely concentrate at all. It seems everything keeps coming to him, from lectures, papers, seminars, students or his own family. He has no times for all of these things. Today he will be the guest speaker to kick off the cognitive psychology colloquium series. Thinking about that, Newt walks upstairs to have his note prepared.

 

 

He finds his way to the hall he's going to give the talk. Newt arrives quite early but it will be better if he has everything prepared, at least he can skim through his note for the final time.

 

 

To his surprise, Newt walks into the room packed up with attendees who are gathering next to the food like a group of seagulls on the beach during summer. Before he can surreptitiously get in, he notices Tina, the former Oxford classmate and current colleague, who is now looking at him with the tiny smile of fondness like always. Newt walks towards the tall lady.

 

 

"You arrived quite late, didn't you?" Tina asks and he nods as a response. He didn't mean to, certainly, but to his surprise, he must admit that he forgets the schedule. "No worries, we haven't started. We will congratulate Jacob first. His second PhD just is just about to come."

 

 

"Splendid," Newt reaches his hand to his colleague, Jacob, who is smiling widely and nods with thanks. "Congratulation, Jacob"

 

 

"To Jacob!"

 

 

"To Jacob!"

 

 

 _Cheers_ , Newt says before tapping his glass to his neighbour and drinking the champagne with everyone in the room.

 

 

 

Porpentina takes the whole room so easily. "If everyone would take the seat, we can start the today's topic."

 

 

After waiting for sixty audiences to take their seats properly and quiet down for a few moment, she announces. "Today, It is my privilege to introduce the outstanding Harvard linguistic and psychology professor to whom has numerous profound works dedicated to the psycholinguist. We're honoured to have him here today to talk about the conception and organisation of language. Let me introduce Dr Newton Artemis Scamander."

 

 

Newt walks towards the podium, feeling the pad on his shoulder from Tina. "Thank you so much, Tina." He smiles her, reading her thin lips saying _no problem_ silently before looking at his audiences.

 

 

"Today I would like to talk about the procession that underlies the organisation and the use of language." He says that without looking at his script, relaxed and professional. The words are flowing out of his mouth effortlessly during the talk.

 

 

"The data reveal that irregular verbs require access to the mental…”

 

 

Newt loses his word. He simply cannot recognise it, not even the first letter of the vocabulary or how many syllables it has or what it sounds like. Gone. It's completely just gone.

 

 

 _Maybe it's because of a champagne._ Newt tells himself, he never drinks alcohol before giving a speech or lecture. He wants his mind to be as sharp as possible, especially the question part at the end of the talk which can be fully challenging and confrontation.

 

 

 _Maybe it's because of sleeplessness._ The other thing he can think of is his poor sleep condition lately. Due to many tasks and projects to work on, Newt sleeps less than he used to. Six or five hours a day, sometimes even four. He is certain that human's mind can malfunction whenever the rest is not substantially enough.

 

 

Newt decides to use the simple and vague word _thing_ to replace the word he still has no idea what it is. For him, it's hugely embarrassing to forget his own word and lose the train in the middle. The blink feels like a year to him. But as he looks at his audiences, they seem relaxed and mainly focus on him, don't show any hints of detecting his mental hiccup at all.

 

 

Only Tina notices that. She is looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed.

 

 

 

 

 

Newt is in his car, driving to Credence's school when the word he was trying to grab finally comes to his mind.

 

 

_Lexicon._


	2. May 2017

 

 

 

**May 2017**

 

 

 

 

 

It's almost the end of the semester and Newt is caught up with loads of work since students start to hand in their papers more and more. "I guess there is a lot to read, Lucas."

 

 

"Surely not as much as you have, Professor Scamander." Lucas, one of his students answers playfully. He's right. Technically, professors tend to have more to read when it comes to the time they have to check each thesis paper delivered by their students regarding the bibliography, quotation and especially plagiarism. It's a rare case, of course, but they cannot let it slip through their fingers. "I wonder when the result will come out."

 

 

"Maximum in two weeks, I also need to check first-year students' papers as well. Hope you guys wouldn't mind."

 

 

"Of course not. That's a tough work." He grins. Lucas and his classmates are going to graduate at the end of the semester. The boy himself has found a job in Wall Street, New York concerning the human resource department in one of the biggest financial companies. Not bad at all for the bachelor degree student. "I will not bother your time anymore."

 

 

"Of course not." This time Newt is the one saying the same sentence playfully. Lucas snorts before leaving his office with the silence.

 

 

Newt continues working.

 

 

 

 

 

The knock on his office door drags him back to the reality. Tina shows up behind the door. "I thought you have already left."

 

 

"If I had left, you wouldn't have seen me here," Newt replies with the smirk on his freckled face. Tina laughs. "Right?"

 

 

"That's true." She leans against the wooden door. "Aren't you going to pick Credence up in ten minutes tho?"

 

 

His eyes are suddenly wide when he recognises the fact that he has totally forgotten and is going to be late for picking his son as he glances at his watch. "Blimey."

 

 

As the computer is shut down and Newt finishes putting his stuff in places then grabs his messenger bag and his outer coat, Tina shakes her head and smiles fondly like a big sister which she actually is. "See you later, Tina."

 

 

 

 

 

Credence is always laying on his stomach reading something in the colourful children book when Newt arrives. This time is different, the boy is standing next to his teacher who is collecting her stuff with the bag on his back. Credence is looking at him when Newt runs across the parking lot all the way to the waiting area.

 

 

"I'm so sorry, so terribly sorry." He says the last part directly to his son's teacher. She smiles and shakes her head.

 

 

"Don't worry, professor." Miss Green, said the name tag on her uniform, affirms him before handling Credence's hand to Newt. "Is the traffic jam that heavy?"

 

 

He thought she's Miss Smith. This is embarrassing that he forgets his own son's teacher name. "I was overworking, to be fair. I'm so terribly sorry." He admits it before bowing head in order to apologise her again and she just shakes her head one more time as an answer.

 

 

Both of them say goodbye to Miss Green and Newt takes Credence to Ben & Jerry's.

 

 

 

 

 

They sit at the table outside on the patio and enjoy the breezy and sunny evening. Newt orders a Cookie Dough for Credence and a Cinnamon Buns for himself.

 

 

"I thought Miss Smith is your teacher." He says while his son is colouring the paper.

 

 

"Miss Smith was my teacher last year."

 

 

The boy replies when ice-creams are served. Credence eats the spoonful of his favourite Cookie Dough and ends up messing himself with the stain of an ice-cream on his pinkish cheek and the tip of his nose. Newt laughs fondly and wipes the stain off with the handkerchief he always in Credence's shirt pocket.

 

 

"I thought Miss Smith is your teacher," Newt says.

 

 

Credence stops chewing and looks at Newt, unblinking. "Mummy. Miss Smith was my teacher last year. I just told you."

 

 

"Oh." Newt raises his eyebrows surprisingly. He might not concentrate when Credence told him. "So how's your day?"

 

 

"I learn a lot." The boy says it proudly before starting colouring the cartoon drawing on the paper with crayons. "Miss Green taught about the ocean and sea animals today. Do you know that dolphins are not fish? They are....um...they are..."

 

 

"A mammal." Newt completes the sentence. Credence nods eagerly and repeats what Newt just said like he's trying to memorise it. They eat their ice-cream and Newt takes the spoonful of Cookie Dough that his son feeds him before feeding the little boy a spoonful of Cinnamon Buns.

 

They are leaving the ice-cream shop, full and satisfied, when the staff interrupts them.

 

 

"Excuse me, sir!"

 

 

The waiter catches up to them on the footpath. "You forgot this."

 

 

Newt pauses, trying to comprehend how the waiter might come to have his car key. He put it in his bag after he parked the car. He felt it in his bag. No car key. He must've removed it when he fetched his wallet out to pay while Credence was waiting at the table.

 

 

"Thank you."

 

 

Credence looks at him quizzically, as the boy wants to say something about something other than dolphins or ice-creams but then doesn't. They walk to the car talking about Credence's favourite subject instead.

 

 

 

 

 

"Percival?"

 

 

Both of them arrive home around five. There is no sign of Percival. Niffy was laying on the couch when Newt opened the door and now is licking Credence's cheek cheerfully. The boy chuckles. "He knows that we're back."

 

 

Newt nods as a response and rubs Nifty's head while Credence is busying taking his bag to his room. Newt checks the refrigerator. No note on the door. Nothing at all.

 

 

Why does it bother him so much? Percival is in the middle of a lecture and can't leave it to come home. He's been in his shoes for countless times. This is their lives. This is who they are. And Newt knows that it's not fair for Percival or even for him if one of them is mad at each other because of this.

 

 

He spots the frisbee and the leash on the shoe wardrobe next to the door. Taking Niffy for a walk with Credence will make him feel better after this stressful week.

 

 

Normally, he takes Niffy for a walk everyday. For three years, he's been taking Niffy and Credence out for a walk as a daily necessity but he's neglected this basic routine over last several months. Newt's been so busy.

 

 

Newt follows his same route from his house on Popular Street down to Massachusetts Avenue, through Harvard Square along Charles River to Harvard Bridge with Credence's hand in his and Niffy next to the boy.

 

 

While they are walking, Credence softly says to Newt. "Mummy, I'm thirsty."

 

 

He looks for the bottle of water he always brings with him whenever they go for a walk. In truth, he simply has forgotten to bring the bottle. Newt takes Credence and Niffy to the bench next to the pavement. "Can you wait here for a moment? I will go to the shop nearby and buy a bottle of water for you."

 

 

The boy nods before sitting down with Niffy sitting on the pavement next to him.

 

 

"Don't talk to the stranger, okay? If someone comes to pick you up saying Papa or Mummy told them to get you, don't go with them."

 

 

"Okay."

 

 

Newt rubs his son's head before leaving to search the shop nearby.

 

 

A comfortable and cloudless evening invites a lot of activities along the Charles River. Despite a stream of joggers, dogs and their owners, pedestrians, Rollerbladers, Skateboarders, cyclists or families, Newt concentrated on the footpath and what goes on around him in order not to hit someone. He just walks.

 

 

Noticing the shop near the interaction of Eliot Street, he enters the building and opens the refrigerator's door to grab a bottle of water for his son. Newt grabs coins from his pocket and leaves.

 

 

Newt wants to continue walking but stand frozen still instead. He doesn't know where he is. Newt knows he is in Harvard Square but he doesn't know which way is Credence and Niffy. He lost them.

 

 

He tries again, this time more specifically. Newt walks around an area, feeling like a fool. He knows this place - it's been his neighbourhood for seven years but now it simply is not in his mental map, not anymore.

 

 

His heart begins to race. The picture of losing Credence and someone taking the boy with them scares him to death that he starts sweating. Newt tells himself that his heart rate increases because he was half-running to find the shop but as he stands still like this, Newt is sure it's a panic.

 

 

People, cars, buses and all kinds of noises rush around him. He closes his eyes and listens to his heart racing in his chest like it is going to burst out of his chest.

 

 

"Please stop this," Newt whispers to himself.

 

 

He opens his eyes and suddenly everything comes back to its place like the splash of water. Credence. He needs to go get Credence.

 

 

The picture in front of him makes Newt want to sob - Credence sitting on the bench, looking around himself in panic like he's searching for Newt. The short legs are hanging in the air over the ground and the hat he put on Credence covers almost all of his chubby face.

 

 

The boy's eyes light up when he sees Newt. Credence jumps out of the bench and runs to him with the frisbee in his hand. Newt hugs the boy with the relief, Credence looks at him confusingly. "Mummy?"

 

 

"Here is your water. I'm sorry."

 

 

 

 

 

"Artemis?"

 

 

Newt hears Percival's voice right after closing the front door. He appears in front of the counter of the kitchen, his glasses laying on the top of his black hair and pencil placed behind his right earlobe, the collar unbuttoned. The smell of coffee is floating in the air. "Tea?" His husband askes as he hovers to the kettle.

 

 

"Yes, please." Newt answers, presses his lips on Percival's cheek and walks pass him to the dining table as Credence runs to sit on the couch in the living room, turning om the telly for evening cartoon programme. "Why didn't you leave the note?"

 

 

"I remember that I have already told you," Percival replies before placing a cup of tea in front of Newt. He glances at his husband. "Don't you remember?"

 

 

He has no idea why he bursts out so suddenly. "Leave the note. I can't remember everything, okay?" The pulse in his vain is ignited after Percival asked him if he actually _forgot._

 

 

Percival looks at him confusingly. Newt's even confused with himself. "Oh, okay."

 

"I'm sorry." Newt apologises. He places his face in his hands before looking at Percival with pure regret. "I'm sorry. I'm just, just exhausted. You must be hungry."

 

 

"It's okay, Artemis. It's okay." The older man sits next to Newt, placing his warm hand on his shoulder. "Just have a tea and relax. You don't need to cook, I'll order something from the new Italian restaurant in the corner so you can rest. No ifs, ands, or buts. Okay?"

 

 

Newt nods in silence. Percival gets up and walks to the living room. He hears his husband talking to Credence. "Aye young man, we're going to have pasta and lasagnas tonight, deal?"

 

 

After minutes of breathing in and breathing out, Newt finally is calm enough to gather his thoughts and everything together. He thinks about the missing _Lexicon_ during his talk, Miss Green, the walk and the note then grabs his laptop which is next to the counter and Googles "Menopause symptoms."

 

 

A list of the symptom fills the screen - anxiety, dizziness, night sweats, insomnia, fatigue, irregular heartbeat, depression, irritability, mood swings, disorientation, mental confusion, memory lapses.

 

 

All of these make sense. It's just natural, one thing that can happen to everyone. Nothing life-threatening. Nothing abnormal.

 

 

After having a dinner and sending their son to bed with Niffy sleeping at the end of the boy's feet, both of them are lying on their bed. Percival's warm hands on his hip bring him into the curve of his body. His breath is solemnly warm on his neck, Percival is sleeping while Newt's staying wide awake, noting himself that he should go to see a doctor and thinking about what happened in the evening.

 

 

_"I thought you left me." The boy says jokingly before saying thank you and grabbing the bottle in his hand._

 

 

**_He almost left Credence, in fact, he almost lost Credence._ **


End file.
